How to Save $3000 by Being a Redneck Flyover Man

Cedar City blue agate pendant w/sterling silver chain, $50

Cedar City blue agate pendant w/sterling silver chain, $50

Jacob Lake malachite pendant with beads, $40

Jacob Lake malachite pendant with beads, $40

petrified wood cabochon, $50

petrified wood cabochon, $50

I got my December issue of “Esquire” magazine this week.  I have decided that after living in Utah for 10 years that I have nothing in common with the stuff in “Esquire”.  This episode I will be flyover man and “Esquire” will be bi-coastal man.

  1. Combination shampoo-conditioner-body wash.  Me:  Armani knockoff – $1 @ the Dollar Store.  Esquire: Wen Men $72, page 74.
  2. Beard balm?  Me: petroleum jelly – guess the price @ the Dollar Store.  Esquire: stubbleandstash.com, $22, page 74.
  3. Fragrance.  Me: Avon @ $20 or rub juniper branch on neck (free).  Esquire: Givenchy Gentlemen Only Casual Chic fragrance (smells like juniper).
  4. Coat.  Me: mohair, $20 at the church rummage sale.  Esquire: wool & cashmere – $1500, page 65
  5. Articles.  Me: I can’t figure out what the hell they are talking about or who the folks are.  Esquire: If Joel can’t figure out what we are talking about then we are doing our job.

Notes on above pictured rock jewelry:  The Cedar City blue agate grows locally near the aforementioned junipers.  Jacob Lake is near the North Rim of the Grand Canyon where there are abandoned copper mines.   The petrified wood was bought at a local shop and the source is somewhere here in the west.

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#cedar-city-blue-agate, #jacob-lake-malachite, #petrified-wood