- Phone sales – by computers
Cheerios – O.K. But what about the rest of us that are grumpy most of the time? What about grumpyos -use the broken O’s that come off the line and are discarded. They would look like the downturned lips of grumpy people like an upside down “U” shape. Larry, the cable guy, told the T.V. audience that he wasn’t watching where he was pushing his shopping cart at the WalMart and ran over a short little feller. Larry asked “Are you OK?” The little feller answered “I’m not happy.” Larry asked “Then which of the 7 dwarves are you? Grumpy?”
Wheaties – Remember when Bruce Jenner had his picture on the Wheaties box when he was an olympic gold winning athlete? It would have been such a big shock at that time if Bruce had gone over to that Russian commie team. Now we need a new special Wheaties box with Kaitlyn Jenner on it that is missing the wheat part. Just like Bruce is missing his man part. He needed his head examined, not a surgeon.
Phone sales by computer or by sales persons that claim that you are “special” in some way or other that entitles you to buy some crap that you probably would not want in a million years. “You have qualified for a special loan on your house, payday loan, health insurance, a winter cruise to Antartica, etc. My reply: My dog gets bored and has learned to use the phone to make crank calls to unsuspecting businesses. “I need a bone loan” “I need a large pizza with road kill topping” “I need life insurance on the neighbor’s cat” “Please send some liver treats to that hot golden retriever across the street.” Question – What do seniors do while young people frolic in a winter wonderland? Answer – sit on an ice biscuit to soothe their hemorrhoids.
Our patio at the east side of the house becomes slick with ice during winter. This winter I placed a 5 gallon bucket under the dripping rain gutter to prevent it from freezing on the concrete. It worked and produced an ice plug overtopping the bucket. A few hours of sun exposure allowed a thin layer of water to form between the ice plug and the bucket. I inverted the ice filled bucket and it slipped right out, like unmolding jello. Then it became not a hot seat but a cold seat. See pictures.